if the shoe doesn't fit, change it

i sometimes envy people who seem to have things figured out. they go on with their lives, content and secure about the choices they have made, not really wanting to change anything all that much. not questioning whether what they are doing is what they want to do, or where they are, both figuratively and literally, is where they want to be.


that kind of piece of mind has evaded me for quite a while. sometimes the feeling of being unsure about things is stronger and i get anxious, nervous and everything makes me feel cagey; sometimes it hides in the background and i am able to ignore it, at least to an extent. 


how many of the things we do in our daily lives and the choices we make we do because we think they are the ones we should, or are supposed to, make? how much does the general opinion of what is proper affect one's behavior? trying to fit in to a role set by someone else has to be one of the most consuming things there is for it is bound to fail -- either you don't fit in it and end up feeling like a failure, or you somehow manage and feel like shit because it was never really what you wanted.

"i hope you won't think me harsh when i say there is no significance at all.

we've had hope, we've had faith, faith in church, faith in politics, faith in leaders, 

faith in gurus.  because we've wanted to achieve a state of bliss, of happiness and 

so on. and hope has nourished this faith, and when one observes through history, 

through our life all that hope and faith have no meaning at all because what is

important is what we are, actually what we are - not what we think we are - or 

what we think we should be - but actually what is.  if we know how to look at 

what is - it will bring about a tremendous transformation"

jiddu krishnamurti when asked what significance is hope and faith to living, in 1966.

interestingly the above quote was sent to me by my partner in a very different context, some hours later than i had written and without him reading this post; it seemed coincidental enough for me to add it here.