except i expect

i've been thinking about expectations quite a lot recently. the ones i put on myself, on others, and the ones that are put on me by other people. i'm not necessarily  talking about the kind of expectations that are associated with, say, your job, or keeping a promise; these are slightly different in nature and should probably be considered more as obligations and agreements than expectations. for me expectations, at least the kinds i have been thinking about lately, are more of the one-way type; given without negotiation. 

these kind of expectations are problematic, in a way, for it seems to me that they are the very reason for several kind of disagreements, disappointments and sadness. to avoid this i do try my very best in my daily life not to expect anything from other people; of course often i fail, miserably -- which may then cause the mentioned distress, sadness, frustration, even anger. it would be beneficial to recognize this and realize that the reason that made you upset was never really yours to create; that if you reflect your own needs, fears and whatnot to other people and they then fail to fill that space you want them to fill, how much of it is their fault and how much yours? they never asked for it, after all.

to expect something is to wait something to happen; in human relationships this can be fatal for if the interaction is based on something that isn't there but that should be, the possible  failure of that something to take place may turn out to be destructive.

take what you can from people; don't expect them to give you anything. appreciate their good sides and try to ignore the worse, and then only hope they can treat you accordingly.

your hand opens and closes
opens and closes.
if it were always a fist
or always stretched open
you would be paralysed.

- rumi