i do

do you ever wonder, between the moments of your life and in the midst of your reactions, whenever you feel justified or mistreated or whatever it is that happens to be flushing through your nerve system; do you ever stop to think how it transfers to the outside? do you ever ask yourself what is the projection you give; and do you ever remember that your experience is not the only one?

it's a constant flux of emotions, of feelings and responses; everything reflecting from the individual background and filtering through the fabric that is your life so far. words can never relay this experience, you can never really truly explain how you see and feel things. a word is a symbol, a rough draft of something that cannot be described in more detail. it is the personal experience that sets the finesse of an expression, that colours the words and adds the unique amount of weight to them.

so when you say love, it doesn't mean the same thing at all when your loved one says it; because your experience of love is different to theirs. when you say hate it has an entirely different content than the hate of your enemy; because for them, hate means something that it can never mean to you. and when you say sorry it might not matter any more because the damage is already done; the weight of your words in the reality of another can be too heavy to bear.

so does it ever intrigue you how you appear; do you ever think that what you say is not what other people hear? and does it ever overwhelm you, this individual experience, this life, the details and wholeness of which you can't ever share? and do you, at the same time, find it comforting - that no matter what, this is yours, and it is right, and even if there are billions of rights in the world, as many as there are wrongs - that this right and this wrong, they are yours and they are you, and that is just simply incredible?