of course this is not true. it doesn't kill you to be put down, day after day, to be taught through the hardest of ways that your opinion doesn't matter; that what you are is entirely wrong and crooked and that you should, in fact, change yourself to the core. it doesn't kill you to be stripped bare of your joy of living, be spooked by harsh reactions and sudden, irrational bursts of anger so that you no longer dare to express yourself at all or live in a way you would want to. it doesn't kill you to swallow your self-respect and shatter your identity, doesn't take your life to tone yourself down and give in, give up, lose yourself for the sake of something you can't even name any more.
you don't die of humiliation, of the excruciating feeling of being robbed of your life or of staring at the ceiling throughout the sleepless nights and hoping you would be somewhere else, that everything around you would cease to exist. your heart won't stop beating because there is nothing of you left; your heart doesn't care about this.
it doesn't kill you. but when you are a shadow of what you used to be, when before every uttered word you think whether or not you should say it, when you spend your time tense, careful not to move or breathe or be in a way that is considered incorrect - it most certainly doesn't make you stronger either.
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