trial and error

we all have dreams. i don't mean the brain poop that occupies your head during the night and makes you wonder in the morning if you are indeed starting to lose it; i mean the dreams we have for our futures, for our lives; how we see ourselves in the future in comparison to how we are now. whether your dream is to have a family, be successful (by what standards, up to you), be a doctor or a teacher or whatever field of profession intrigues you or travel the world, whatever -- it makes no difference, we all have those. perhaps there are people whose only dream in life is to preserve what they have; this group aside, usually people's dream have more or less something to do with wanting to attain or be something that not yet is.


this is interesting because if the dream is strong enough and not just a mere fancy (say, i always thought it would be fun to be an actor but i never really did anything to be one -- therefore this is not really what counts as a dream) -- it affects your behavior. perhaps you choose your line of study in order to pursue your dream; maybe you endure hardships just because you can see that your dream is worth it. the truth is that you make your decisions based on your dreams, at least to an extent -- granted, very practical a person might try to give up dreaming altogether and go with the safe option, but to the majority of us our dreams have a certain kind of steering power. 


but what are dreams then, and what are they based on? and how do you know if they are worth pursuing and not just a folly, possibly even implemented on you by someone or something else? no matter what your mother may have told you, we can't be anything that we want to be; you may yearn to be the prima ballerina of the national theater but if you don't have what it takes, you are just  not going to make it. sure you can then dance in your own living room, but it's hardly the same, now is it -- if your dream was to be on the stage, that is.


and then there is of course the situation when you think you are going after your dream and in some point end up realizing that it wasn't even your dream in the first place, or that you were lacking some essential information in terms of what you thought it would be; and when the dream turns into reality you realized that this was not what you wanted at all.


so dreams, as strong and powerful and mind-setting as they can be, aren't necessarily realistic. and here lies the core of the problem -- how on earth are you supposed to know which dreams are attainable and not just a waste of your time? and how can you know if, even if you would reach it, it is what you thought it would be?


of course the only way to see is to try, i guess. but it is frustrating, and it can be scary as well; and sometimes you wish that there were someone who could tell you for a fact how things are, and that you could rely on that information.


in the meantime you just have to try and accept the possibility of it all going to hell.


or you don't try for the fear of failing or for the uncertainty of your dreams validity and you never even have a chance of making it come true.


 your call.