2013-04-04

home

the US experience came to an end a few days ago and i flew back to this side of the ocean. it is nice to be back in europe i must say, and even nicer is that coming back didn't mean going back to finland but instead moving to paris. it is slightly more cold than i would have preferred or even expected it to be, but strangely enough this doesn't vex me tremendously; i managed to skip the worst of finland, after all, and i would think spring is right around the corner anyway, so a week or two of winter jacket doesn't seem like a huge compromise to make.

or maybe i am forgiving towards the weather because there is this sense of newness in everything. you know the feeling when you are starting a new job, or changing flats, or even a new pair of shoes - you are not used to it, and you pay more attention. you might not be entirely comfortable, but not in a negative way; just the feeling of something having changed, and you adjusting to that change. i am obviously in that phase right now, experiencing a city i have visited a few times from a completely new point of view. at the moment going to a supermarket is an adventure, and i am full of positive intentions, very much like you would be in the beginning of a semester or something of the like - that this time around i will be awesome, will do all these things that one ought to, won't waste time and so on - and of course eventually i will find myself doing exactly that, and i won't always put my laundry in the basket right away or learn a phrase of french every day. 

but it's all right i think, because it always goes like that - once you get familiar with things they lose that edge they have when you first get in contact with them, and that is only natural. what matters is what comes after that; are you still happy with the choice you have made once the sense of new wears out, are you comfortable in your familiarity or does it feel boring. do the negatives outweigh the positives, or do you find yourself congratulating yourself over the situation you managed somehow to squeeze yourself in? 

this all of course remains to be seen. right now i am very happy to be here, and i truly intend to make the best out of it; this is paris, after all, and it's the place that goes by the definition of home from now on.



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