capiche?

the feeling of not belonging is quite a peculiar one. it can be either positive or negative, depending on how one experiences it -- if you want to belong and not to feel like an outsider and you can't, it can be consuming, even destructive; if you nurture a concept of being so unique that nobody just gets you it can be quite empowering as well, at least if you choose not to care what others think. but what does it mean, not to belong, and where does it lead?


i do think we all have the tendency to think we are somehow special; the degree of this varies from person to person. some people are so wrapped in their own individuality that they can't see beyond themselves, and if they are not where they would want to be in life it is because they haven't been given the chance or that their uniqueness just hasn't been recognized yet; to this type of person it never occurs that maybe they are not that special, after all. if this type of person doesn't fit in, it is always because other people are uninteresting or don't get them. they get away with everything, at least in their own mind, because they truly think the same rules that apply for everybody else don't apply for them; and every misfortune and obstacle in life can be blamed on the fact that the rest of the world just doesn't see how different they are.


at the other end of the scale you have people who don't think they are special at all. but even this group separates itself from the rest through this humbleness and humility -- it can be genuine, but they recognize it nevertheless. they may say something along the lines like "i'm so ordinary, there is absolutely nothing special in me" but even that definition screams the differentiation from the rest of the pack who tend to think they are something.


i guess the point i'm trying to make here is that we are just as understood as we want to be. if the people around you don't see what you are about, find people who do. if you want to express something and make yourself understood, do so -- if you really have the need. maybe you don't -- maybe you like being misunderstood. it happens.


and as true as it is  that some people are more gifted, some more intelligent, some more perceptive, some more socially inept and so forth, what would be the most important thing to remember is that we all have value, and that value is exactly the same. be as special as you want to be; but not for one second think that you are somehow better than the rest. i would think that that would be the starting point for us all to feel like we belong.