pros and cons

i came to think of the good and bad sides of running. obviously the majority of the things i have gained and experienced and continue doing so through moving my feet are positive -- to name but a few, i have a guaranteed and cheap way to keep my head straight(er), i am in a good physical condition which makes life overall much easier, i have seen a bunch of interesting things and places i would have not seen otherwise -- this applies especially to running when travelling to new locations --, my endurance and ability to focus have improved (outside the act of running itself as well) and, perhaps above all, running long distances has given to me such knowledge about my body and mind and how they work  i doubt i would have even the faintest clue about had i not started running. 

and the bad sides?

obviously they must be there as well. but now, as i'm writing this, they are much more difficult to come up with, and when i do, i immediately find a way to justify and lessen them -- not surprising, someone might say. 

but let's see -- for me, the worst thing to come along is the pain i at times feel. i'm not talking about the mild muscle pain that one might experience after a 30km run or even the blisters  under your toe nails after a marathon; these are great (the blisters not so much but you get the point). i mean the kind of pain that prevents you from running, at times even from walking properly; the pain you get when there is something broken or seriously agitated in you. this pain is not a negative issue because of the pain itself, of course, but because of the outcome of it  -- an anxious, frustrated and easily annoyed human being thanks to the deprivation from running and the excruciating knowledge you brought about it on yourself. other forms of exercise exist, naturally, but it is always the next best thing; anyone who shares my passion for running knows exactly what i mean.

so the worst side of running is not being able to run? i'm sure that makes sense on some level.

mind games

it takes a certain type of personality to be able to enjoy running. i know people who run because they have some agenda, whether it be to lose weight, stay in shape or something alike-- to put it short, they run because it's something you do--  but they don't particularly enjoy it, or even like it.

i understand why somebody doesn't like to run for fun -- god forbid if i were forced to go to an aerobic class or play ice-hockey (or pretty much any team sport for that matter). running it is, after all, a very solitary, dull and repetitive form of exercise, and like i mentioned above it certainly is not meant for everybody. especially when it comes to long-distance running the type of your personality comes into play -- i know there are people who have willed themselves to train and run a marathon, for example, but how boring and awful must that have been, to try and motivate yourself for quite a lengthy period of time to do something you don't really like all that much -- on your free time above all things.

i do sometimes think i'm slightly autistic or somehow simple-minded to find such joy from the seemingly very uninteresting activity, to the point that i actually do rather get up at 5.30 am on a cold november morning after a not-so-good night's sleep in order to go out and run -- not because i wish my ass to get smaller but because i want to go; because i prefer to. because i like it.

i think i am truly fortunate.

thoughts

"I'm often asked what I think about as I run. Usually the people who ask this have never run long distances themselves. I always ponder the question. What exactly do I think about when I'm running? I don't have a clue.
On cold days I guess I think a little about how cold it is. And about the heat on hot days. When I'm sad I think a little about sadness. When I'm happy I think a little about happiness. As I mentioned before, random memories come to me too. And occasionally, hardly ever, really, I get an idea to use in a novel. But really as I run, I don't think much of anything worth mentioning."


Haruki Murakami: What I Talk About When I Talk About Running, p.16-17

fall from grace

i enjoy the solitude and desolateness that comes along with running in a such ungodly hour as i do. it's a whole different world out there at that time, to an extent that if i occasionally run in the afternoon in the same surroundings it feels altogether a different place.

there is unquestionable beauty in the silence and calmness of early mornings. i am grateful for being able to experience it; many people never do, at least willingly. you experience the shift in seasons so vividly by venturing out in the mornings - what only some months ago was bright and warm is now dark and gloomy and cold; and the path i ran in august is now impossible to take because of the lack of light. 

you sense the changes in the air surrounding you- temperature, humidity, strength of wind - how it feels on your skin and in your lungs. you see how the trees that not long ago were lush and green are now starting to lose their dry, yellow leaves - like rotting flesh coming off from the bones of a dead animal.

i detest winter, but the switch to it from summer always has the same, undefined sad beauty in it.

W.H Auden - Funeral Blues

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crêpe bows round the white necks of the public doves, 

Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

pain is weakness leaving the body

after running regularly for over 10 years i am no stranger to different kind of pains and injuries. most of the damages done to my legs and feet have been due to overdoing things - i have a tendency for this - and i know how it feels to hurt in almost every part of your legs from hip to toes. as a whole though i haven´t had that much troubles - i guess this is partly because i am relatively small in physical size. if a man of 100kgs would have ran the amount i have, i reckon problems might have been bigger in quantity and scale. 


after running that ten years like most of us do, with padded sneakers and a proper heel-strike, i switched my technique completely about a year ago from heel-strike to striking with the balls of my feet.  this is closer to the way the human feet is designed to be used when running; the shock impact caused by the landing is much smaller when striking with the ball of feet than with heel as the foot acts like a spring, lessening the impact. it of course requires time and patience, to re-calibrate your muscles and movement patterns you have spent your entire (running) life learning, and to strengthen the small muscles and joints in your feet which have got lazy in the padded shoes.


during summer i also made a switch in my running shoes, dropping all else and using only minimalistic shoes, more specifically  vibram fivefingers. it is truly a magnificent feeling to run with them, feeling the ground through the thin soles; this, however, hasn't come without some problems. my feet have needed - and still do -  time to adjust to this new way of running, and i have been forced to cut done my weekly kilometers. this has required patience i haven't always had, and pushing my feet too much has every now and then caused pain due to over stressing them. 


it is unbelievably frustrating not to be able to run as much as i would want to, especially now when it has become so enjoyable again that i actually await in the evening for the morning to come so i can go running. so i am forced to think whether or not i should cut back using the vibrams a bit and use the regular sneakers every  now and then - maybe running what i now consider wrong is still better than not running enough.