thin line

it was easier now. 

there were no fights any more, no continuous drama that increased one's heartbeat and no hot-burning anger that distorted the field of vision and made everything look grotesque. there were no objects hurled through a torrent of screams and shouts and no sounds of doors slamming shut so hard it shook the walls. there were no tissues in the bathroom bin with much-telling blotches of reddish brown and there were no black eyes that always looked worse in the harsh morning light. there was no consuming, exhausting jealousy and no obsessive ownership over another. there was no pain, be it physical or mental, and there was no fear.

that, D had to admit, made things a lot less complicated. 

but there was no intoxicating, stomach-turning and heart-clenching feeling of love and passion, either. no bottomless longing and maddening anticipation, or tears shed first because of distance and then again due to the joy of being reunited. there was no desire to exist only for the sake of someone else and no feeling of one soul divided into two bodies. basically, and D had realized this quite a while back, there was no love as she had learnt to know love. 

instead there was a steady existence, a companionship of a tepid kind when compared to the scorching hot that had once been. instead of mountains and bottoms of the ocean there were plains with hills so low you could easily see over them, and the wind that blew was mild next to the hurricanes that had battered her before. it was easy and relatively predictable and there was absolutely nothing wrong with anything, and D knew this as well as she knew that it was unfair of her to lash out when there was nothing exactly right either.

but was it then really so that you couldn't have one without the other? that the amount of emotion was a constant that had its equally strong counterpart, and that the purest of love could only be brought about by misery equally powerful? it couldn't have been so, and yet it appeared to be, and D couldn't tell who was wrong; she or everyone else. 

but it was easier, and perhaps that was enough.