funeral

the first sign is the darkness of the mornings. it is different than before, more persistent and heavier; it seems that the daylight has to fight harder to break through it. and at the same time, now when its power would be more needed than ever, the dawn is growing weaker by the day. it withers and the rays of the pale sun wear thin, and even if they still have enough strength to banish the thick darkness of the night you can already see that the battle is the losing kind.

the second sign is the smell of the air. it is the only time of the year when you can smell the coldness, still hiding behind the remains of the summer. the last warm days are like a veil in front of the approaching autumn and the winter that follows, and the fabric of it starts to break down  already ; but for now it still holds together, and if you so choose it is still thick enough to cover your eyes from the truth.

the third sign is the rain. when it starts it is savage and brutal, overpowering and unconditional as its relentless drumming washes away whatever memory there was of the summer. after a while it will become more and more difficult to remember how it felt when the nights were light and the breeze was warm, because soon the nights are darker than you ever thought possible and the wind cuts through your skin and freezes your bones into icicles. the sad, dead shell of the summer flows on the streets together with the cold, gray rain, down to the sewers and all the way to the sea where it dissolves and disappears just like its predecessors have done as well.

the fourth sign is the most difficult one to spot but it might also be the most important. it is the feeling of undefined sadness that creeps up on you without a warning; it is the invisible weight on yours shoulders that pushes them down ever so slightly. you know that the end of summer is inevitable, and that fighting it is useless; if something  was ever truly beyond your control, it must be this predetermined death struggle you are forced to witness year after year. 

and it doesn't get easier, even if you have seen it so many times before. the signs will prepare you for it, but they don't change the outcome -- they only tell you, bluntly and without discretion, that the last day of summer has indeed gone. what is left to do is to let go of the deceased and make your peace with the situation, move on; a closure that is required so that the heaviness of your heart won't weigh you down anymore.