click

i did my ashtanga practice yesterday. i had a bit of a break due to reasons beyond my control, some ten days or so -- enough to make me feel stiff as a stick and swear to myself that if it is somehow in my power i will not drop the regular practice ever again. this was now my third practice after the break and i start to feel rather normal -- can't even begin to describe how good it is for me to be back in the routine again.


anyway, towards the end of the series i understood one difficult an asana in a new way; realized a certain kind of movement, a minimal use of strength in a way i had not understood before. nothing major but a very revealing one, an eye-opener if you will. it felt somewhat insignificant at the moment but as i was thinking about it this morning when running it started to gain more weight. 


the clicking of that asana, a simple moment of realization after which i had a whole new understanding of not only the asana itself but also how my physique works -- and that i couldn't have arrived to this realization any sooner or in any other way, that it could have happened only after the countless times i had done that asana before, not really understanding it, no matter whether i thought i did or not --  wouldn't it be just fantastic to have that kind of epiphany about your life?


and in a way, silly as it may sound, i now have a little bit more faith that the click will come. and it cannot come any sooner than it will; and that the timing of that moment is not necessarily in my control. the only thing for me to do is to keep up with the practice, in this case living -- doing things, trying stuff, taking things as they are; and above all, keeping an open mind.